Oh dear... A long time has lapsed since my last entry, but I know you'll forgive me because you know how time flies when you are a mum.
I've just been re-hashing a conversation I had with my old neighbour. Judy is 80 this year, her husband (whom she barley tolerates but loves completely) is 81. I met them when they bought the house next door to where we were renting, maybe D1 was just born? Since then I have lost all recollection of time;)
I digress.
During a conversation one day Judy said, "I used to make the kids undies out of Ted's old Bonds singlets". At the time I thought, 'now that's recycling'! Now, tonight, sitting here dressing the kids in their singlets I think, HOW THE HELL DID SHE FIT IT ALL IN?! I think about how busy I am and all the things I've done today and how pissed off at the world I am because there is just so much to do and so little time for myself...
Judy had three kids, Ted had various jobs during his working life, policeman (when there was one phone in the town), debt collector, publican, painter...to name a few. Needless to say, he was an absent husband.
Of her three kids, a daughter and two sons, her younger son developed (not sure if that is the right word) a mental illness, he later died in a drug overdose). Her daughter, has her own daughter now and rings her mum often. Her son, sadly, is just like his father. I can't describe him (never met him), but I get the impression to get any emotion is like getting blood from a stone.
I hate to have to devote so little time to their descriptions but I'm squeezing this in between bath time and bed time.
I'm talking to the other mums lately, anger is a word that come up often. We are so ticked off! No, really. Mums are really feeling out of sorts. Of the mums I'm talking to, none of them know the answer, I mean, we all know what it means to be a devoted mother and wife but where do we squeeze in time for ourselves? We women don't understand how important the situation is so how can we expect our husbands? In this department, don't kid your selves ladies, you husband has no idea. I hate to be the one to have to tell you this but, even though you are floundering, the only one who can help you is yourself.
When your mum was young and had six kids to take care of, not only did she raise you but she also milked the cows, made clothes out of old curtains and showed up (kids immaculate) to church on Sunday. She didn't complain, she always had a dinner waiting for hubby and the kids were disciplined.
Post Natal Depression didn't exist and every one grinned and beared it.
In the words of of a great friend and fellow confused/frustrared mum, "We've had our revolution, now its the mens turn". She informed me, of the women who earn more than their husbands and go off to full time employment, 70% of them still come home and do the lions share of the house work.
Women, mums, chicks. Do as I say and not as I do! Spend at least two hours two times a week wholey and souly on yourself, trust me, everyone will benefit!
Make it happen. Do not lose the togetherness.
Vanessa.
